Homesick
by leiasky
Summary: Arwen thinks about what she has lost and Aragorn shows her a path across the Sea.
1. Default Chapter

Title:   "Homesick"

Synopsis:  Arwen thinks about what she has lost and Aragorn shows her a path across the Sea.

Rating: PG 

Spoilers: Takes place after _Return of the King._

Pairing: Aragorn / Arwen.

Disclaimer: I'm not Tolkien. I don't own these characters. (darn!) I make no money. Done for fun.

Additional Info: Movie-verse. 

   The rest of my stories can be found at the URL in my profile page.

Archive: If you like, just tell me where.

Homesick 

Chapter 1 

It was not often that the beautiful Evenstar cried. The last time had been three years ago, at the birth of her beautiful, and long-awaited infant son. But as the rain pelted the White City, cracking as it struck the smooth stone, the Queen could not stop the tears from trailing thin paths down her cheeks.

"My Lady?" Eldarion's nursemaid stepped into the nursery and peered curiously at the Queen.

Arwen didn't answer. Didn't even bother to turn, as she watched the rain continue to fall onto the balcony overlooking the royal garden. Even the fresh, blooming flowers did little to comfort the distraught Queen.

Eldarion squirmed in the nursemaid's arms upon seeing his mother, chubby arms reaching toward her and bright gray eyes widening.

Arwen turned at the sound of his coo and smiled slowly, eyes brightening when they fell on her energetic son.

"Thank you. I'll take him now." Arwen rose and stretched out her arms, into which her son nearly leapt in his excitement.

"My Lady, do you want me to fetch the King?"

A chuckle bubbled from her lips at the thought of her husband seeing her in such a condition. The one and only time she had ever discovered her Estel truly speechless was when he saw her tears.

"No. I am well." Arwen resumed her seat and sat Eldarion in her lap, returning her gaze to the falling rain. "You need not bother him."

"Yes, My Lady." The young woman curtsied quickly and pulled the door shut, leaving the elven mother alone with her son.

Arwen smiled down at the boy as he tugged at strands of her hair. She brushed slim fingers through his own dark, unruly locks, mussing how he looked so very much like his father. Save for the delicately pointed tips to his ears, Eldarion looked nothing like her. She smiled slightly, reminiscing about her ongoing argument with Aragorn on this very subject.

When the babe's eyes glanced longingly up at his mother, Arwen enfolded him in a tight, motherly embrace, forcing back the sobs that threatened to burst through her chest.

"Oh, my little one." Arwen whispered, breathing in the soft baby scent of her son while staring into the dark, rain-filled sky. "How I love you so very much." The stars were absent, their bright twinkle obscured by the dark clouds bearing rain down on the City. "I wish you could have known them." Arwen whispered. Her breath tickled his ear and he gurgled, twisting to remove the sensation from his sensitive skin. He grabbed another fist-full of her hair, pushed it into his mouth and looked up at her with a wide, innocent smile.

Arwen dropped her head and brushed his nose with her own, chuckling when the touch elicited a giggle from his lips. She pressed a kiss to his soft, round cheek and bounced him up and down on her legs. "You'll be a heart breaker when you grow up." Arwen's mind wandered before adding, "Just like your father."

"I've done no such thing," Aragorn smiled from where he had been silently watching the exchange between mother and son. "And he does not look just like me. He has your ears, and your beautiful, soft, porcelain skin."

As he walked toward his wife and son, Arwen quickly wiped at her eyes, not wanting him to see that she had been crying. 

"He has a baby's skin, Estel. It will not last. He is every bit your son.  Only a blind man could not see it." Arwen forced a teasing smile in an effort to distract her husband enough that he would not see what remained of her tears.

Aragorn's eyes narrowed. He knew his wife too well. And he knew when she was hiding something. "What's wrong, melnya?" He knelt beside the chair and rested a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

Eldarion, noticing his father approach, squirmed in his mother's arms, struggling to get his father's attention. 

Aragorn smiled lovingly at his son and pulled the boy into his arms. He resumed bouncing the child on his knee as he watched his wife's face carefully for a reaction to his question.

"Nothing, Estel." Arwen forced a small smile before looking up at her husband. "It's nothing."

He reached out his free hand and trailed a finger down the wet lines of her cheek. "This does not look like nothing."

He waited patiently for her to speak and when she did not, he asked again. "Please tell me."

"I love you." She whispered and closed her eyes tightly so he would not see the tears welling within the clear depths. 

Aragorn pressed a kiss to Eldarion's forehead and carried him over to the elven crib that sat in the middle of the nursery. Without a peep at being released from his father's arms, the child was immediately enraptured by the toys surrounding him and he completely forgot about his father. Aragorn returned to his wife and, this time, knelt in front of her and took her hands in his own.

"As I love you." His voice was soft and tender as he searched his wife's face. Her eyes remained closed but he could see the wet tears escaping from beneath the closed eyelids. "With all of my heart and soul. Arwen, please tell me what is troubling you." He knew she had gone through a terrible depression just after she had birthed their son and Aragorn feared she was slipping back into such a state.

"You were summoned?" Arwen asked, evading his question. "It is early still for you to be back from Council."

Aragorn frowned. She was deliberately avoiding his question, which caused even more concern to well in his heart.

"I thought to come home and spend some time with my wife and son." Aragorn lied. Of course the nursemaid had summoned him out of concern for the Queen, but he was not about to tell his wife at this moment.

"You are a pitiful liar, Estel." Arwen murmured, finally opening her eyes and letting the tears spill over her pale cheeks.

"Please tell me." He pleaded, eyes searching her face for an answer. "I will do whatever it is you need, if it is within my power." He brought her fingers to his lips and kissed each one. " I would move the City itself for you, my love. Will you not tell me?"

"There is nothing you can do." She said simply and glanced out at the falling rain.

Aragorn breathed deeply, certain now what distressed his beautiful wife, what made her cry alone in the dark with no one to quell the constant longing in the back of her mind. There were few things he could not give her. But this was one. And he felt deeply the guilt that was his alone for robbing her of the sweet land of her ancestors.

The Sea called to his wife and she could no longer ignore its cry.

The King lowered his eyes and swallowed deeply wishing he could find the words to comfort his wife. 

Arwen noted the fallen look on her husband's face and tugged her fingers out of his hand. She cupped his whiskered cheek in the palm of her hand and returned his concerned look. "Oh Estel. I do not regret my choice! Not for a moment." Her voice trembled as she spoke, thick with emotion. "If not for love, I would not have you. I would not have our son." She smiled ruefully. "What is a lifetime if you have no one to spend it with?"

"I'm sorry." Aragorn said slowly, lowering his head. It hurt him to see his wife in so much pain. The times they shared and the love and joy in their lives could not erase the memory of what she had utterly given up for him. Sometimes he hated himself for falling in love with her.

Arwen could see regret flash in his eyes before he was able to mask it, and she slid to the edge of the plush chair and cupped his cheeks in her own hands. When she pressed her lips against his, there was a moment's hesitation before he returned her kiss. They clung to one another out of some needless fear and desperation, until Arwen pulled away and stared with deep love and adoration into her husband's eyes.

"The longing is buried deep within every elf and there are days when it screams so loudly I cannot ignore its call."

"I wish I could sate that longing, Arwen." His voice was low, sad, as he glanced up and met her gaze. "I would not have you in such despair. It hurts my heart to see you like this."

Arwen sobbed and smiled lovingly at her sensitive husband. "You cannot fix everything, my love. You cannot heal every hurt, every pain."

"I can try." Aragorn stood with a wry smile and drew Arwen to her feet. "Come, there is something we must do."

Arwen blinked in confusion and wiped at her tear-stained cheeks. "Where are we going?"

"To the White Tower. I have something I want to show you. Something I should have revealed long ago." Aragorn reached into the crib and removed Eldarion, who squealed loudly at being parted from his many toys.

Arwen bent over the rail and scooped up a handful of Eldarion's favorite playthings and followed after her husband, confusion etched into her smooth, ageless features.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

Torchlight illuminated the staircase as the royal family made their way up the stone steps into the very top of the White Tower.

Arwen had never been to this place, and the dark, cold stone sent shivers of apprehension down her frame. It was cool here. As if sunlight had not touched these walls since they were erected.

Aragorn, sensing his wife's discomfort, wrapped his arm around her as they climbed. They took an occasional break when Eldarion fussed or they became too winded to climb further. It was no wonder she had never seen this place, the task of reaching it alone would have been enough to dissuade her. The steps narrowed as they reached the top, and the black and white banners of the High King hung from the stone walls, giving an aire of mystery to the old wooden door they flanked.

Aragorn procured a large key from a hidden pocket and inserted it into the door. The only markings on the door were the seal of Aragorn's office and the ancient seal of the first King of Gondor.

Eldarion, wide-eyed in his inspection of all the new sights and sounds, sat relatively quietly in his father's arms. He reached out to touch the familiar seal but Arwen quickly covered his hand, her senses unfamiliar with this place and thus fearful for her son.

"I have not been up here since I was crowned." Aragorn admitted as he turned the key and the lock hitched with a loud click that echoed down the staircase. "There is only one other who has a key to this place, and that is the warden, who I have charged with the upkeep of this room."

"Where are we, Estel?" Arwen asked as Aragorn replaced the key within his pocket and procured a nearby torch.

Aragorn carefully evaded her question. Instead opting for a more obscure comment. "I am going to show you your homeland."

Arwen's eyes narrowed in confusion but she followed closely as they stepped into the room. Torchlight flickered across the white marble walls, bathing the small chamber in an unnerving glow.

A tall pedestal stood in the middle of the room, a round object lying covered in silk at its center. Arwen trembled, fearful of what this object could be.

Aragorn lit several nearby torches, illuminating the room to its full potential, before returning the torch he held to its previous location. He handed over Eldarion to his mother and reverently removed the silken cloth that covered the Palantir.

"This is the Palantir of Elostririon," Aragorn said, passing his hand over the smooth stone until it began to hum beneath his fingers.

"Estel-"

"It was not returned to the West with your father. It was given into my keeping to be used in moments such as these." From within, the stone began to glow. Colors radiating the spectrum of a rainbow swirled within its depths and Aragorn smiled. "I have never used it."

Arwen gasped, hand flying to her mouth as she stepped closer to her husband to watch the movement of time and land pass through the churning colors within the Palantir.

Trembling hands clutched at Aragorn's arm as a land, lush and green, surrounded by crisp blue sea, passed before their eyes.

"Gandalf bade me use it only in a time of great need. For what is revealed within the stone not a living man has ever seen." Aragorn turned to his wife and cupped her cheeks within the rough palms of his hands. "But you are not a man. You are, and will forever be, and elf. Entitled to the view of the lands you, by choosing me as your consort, will never touch."

Arwen trembled as Aragorn dropped a gentle kiss to her lips. When they parted, the indescribable interior walls of the Tower of Avallone stared back at the royal couple from within the palantir.

The keeper of the master-stone of the West spoke then, his or her, voice light as the gentlest breeze. "Greetings King Elessar. No man since Earendil himself has dared to look upon the Undying Lands via the master-stone of the East. "

Aragorn bowed low in respect. "The stone was set into my keeping by Mithrandir and I use it now in hopes to bring joy and light once again to my wife's sad eyes."

"Arwen Undomiel," the voice echoed in her ears, seemingly knowing the reason for Aragorn's use of the Stone and understanding. "See now the gift you have been given and use it well."

The Tower vanished and in its place appeared the smiling faces of the people most loved and missed in the elven Queen's heart. Arwen sobbed and clutched at her son and her husband in disbelief. Aragorn's arm slid around her waist to steady her trembling form.

Celebrian smiled at her daughter, pride and love shining through tear-filled eyes. "I've longed to see the man who stole my precious daughter's heart. A long time have I waited."

Aragorn smiled kindly, and tightened his arms around his trembling wife.

Elrond appeared beside his wife and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. Gandalf stood silently beside Galadriel, smiling as he raised his hand in a distinct elvish gesture of welcome.

Aragorn's eyes narrowed momentarily at seeing the great wizard. For something about him was changed, different. But to the human King's eyes, it was naught but a passing feeling, a memory of a long ago time. To those who stood beside the white mage, all had been revealed. A secret that even the white wizard did not fully comprehend until his feet had reached the sandy shores of his homeland.

"It pleases me that you've used the gift we left behind, Estel." Elrond finally said, smiling sadly at the family that would forever be parted from him.

"My only regret is that I did not use it sooner." Aragorn admitted with a sorrowful glance toward his wife.

Arwen grasped his hand and squeezed it reassuringly as she proudly lifted and turned her son toward her family. He chewed on his toy, oblivious to what was going on around him. "This is our son, Eldarion."

"He's beautiful, my daughter," Celebrian smiled warmly, eyes burning into memory, the face of the Crown Prince of Gondor, her grandson. Celebrian glanced at Aragorn before turning her loving gaze toward her daughter. "You have chosen well, _my precious child_. Though my arms ache to hold you once again, I see that your happiness is in very capable hands."

Aragorn rested his arm gently around Arwen's waist and smiled slowly at the woman from whom he had stolen her only daughter. "It shall always be." Aragorn assured Celebrian with a loving smile.

"I miss you so, Naneth," Arwen sobbed suddenly, leaning against Aragorn for support as the overwhelming sadness at seeing her family, safe and happy across the Sea, finally broke through the walls she had erected around her emotions.

"And I miss you." Celebrian's eyes lowered and her voice shook with carefully held back sobs. "I ache to hold you in my arms again, my daughter. But you have a role to play in the re-building of Middle Earth." Tears slipped unchecked down her cheeks as she continued. "A role that was set in the stars the night you were born. My Evenstar. You could no more forsake this destiny than could Aragorn run from his."

Elrond smiled sadly, remembering the tears and the pain his returning to the Undying lands without his daughter had caused. The long nights, the many fights. Understanding took time. The healing of unexpectedly parted souls took even longer.

"Your family misses you, my Undomiel. But you have a new family, one just as deserving of your love." Celebrian smiled at Aragorn. "And one who loves you with the same dedication and passion as befitting an elven lady. Look to them for strength when you long to see your home across the sea."

Aragorn's arms tightened around his wife in concern, his face etched with sadness for the pain that he had caused this woman who meant more than life to him.

"Do not despair," Elrond finally said, tears prickling his own eyes as he watched his daughter from afar. "I know now I was wrong to come between your love. It hurt our last days together terribly. Our parting was far less cordial than I, in hindsight, should have liked."

Arwen turned tear-filled eyes on her father as Eldarion, finally noticing the colors within the Palantir, reached happily toward the glowing stone. "Ada-"

Elrond raised his hand. "Let me finish." He smiled warmly at his wife, who nodded and smiled in return. "It was only until I laid eyes on my beautiful Celebrian again did I fully realize the power of the love you share with Estel. I had allowed myself to bury my feelings at our parting. I had forgotten what it was like to love so terribly it hurt. "

Aragorn made motion to speak but Elrond silenced him. "I must speak. For I have held this guilt for far too long. Estel, I wronged you in my attempt to force you to forsake your love for my daughter. Even as you fulfilled your promise to me, I did not, in my heart, fulfill mine to you. I am not proud of my actions and I beg you to forgive me a father's fear."

Tears pricked Aragorn's eyes but he blinked them away, struggling to find his voice. "Ada. Now more than ever do I know that feeling," He glanced at his son and brushed his palm across the boy's dark, unruly hair. "It would break me to loose my son as you have lost Arwen. I do not begrudge you the attempt at keeping her by your side."

"You speak with the wisdom of Kings," Elrond smiled proudly which drew a chuckle from Aragorn.

"I had a good teacher," Aragorn smiled at the elven lord and turned to Arwen. He raised his hands to cup her cheeks and brushed away the tears the lingered within her lids, ready to fall.

"All is forgiven, Ada," Aragorn finally said, after taking a moment of silence to search his troubled wife's tear-filled eyes. "If there was anything truly to forgive in the first place."

Eldarion began to bounce in Arwen's arms, intent on touching this glowing toy he had never before seen. He cooed and groaned as he tried in vain to reach the stone that taunted his curious gaze. Arwen's arms tightened around her son, as if his well-being was the only thing keeping her feet beneath her.

Celebrian laughed softly and glanced lovingly at her own mother, who had come to stand beside her daughter. Galadrial took Celebrian's hand and squeezed it gently, understanding the pain this separation from Arwen and her son would cause, especially after seeing their faces.

Mithrindir sensed the growing emotion on all sides and stepped forward, his lips thinning into a small smile. "Beyond the circles of the world we will meet again. It may be that time comes soon, or perhaps not until all memory of the past has faded."

"Never doubt our love," Galadrial's wise voice echoed throughout the small chamber and Eldarion stared at the glowing stone in awe. "It is true and pure. It will tide you until they day we meet beyond the veil."

"Be well, little Prince." Galadrial smiled at Eldarion, who had finally managed to stretch the length of his body out far enough so that a small hand could touch the cold Palantir. The stone hummed and vibrated beneath his touch and his eyes widened. "And remember this day. For one day you may have need to see your kin across the see."

Aragorn smiled sadly, and understood what words had not been spoken. This would be the one and only time he and Arwen would be permitted to see their elven kin. Arwen stepped closer to the stone and covered her son's hand with her own. A small sob escaped her lips before she spoke. "Remember us."

"Until the ending of the world and beyond."

It was unclear to the royal family who had said those final parting words. The voices began to melt as one and their images began to swirl into the darkness of the Seeing Stone.

One last image, the kind and unmistakable visage of Manwe himself, was the last thing that appeared before the stone went dark once more.

END


End file.
